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The Rev. Dr. William Sloane Coffin
My Mentor & My Friend

Marilyn Mecham
Executive, Interchurch Ministries of Nebraska

The Rev. Dr. William Sloane Coffin, Jr. was many things to many people. He was a Freedom Rider, peace activist, chaplain, prophet, husband, father, grandpoppy, and to me — a friend and mentor. You have undoubtedly read and heard many tributes to William Sloane Coffin since his death last month. What an incredible man he was! I was privileged to have worked closely with him the past four years, during which time we developed a wonderful friendship — as did thousands of others.

A week before he died, I was a guest in Bill and Randy’s home. As soon as they learned of my husband’s death in January, Bill and Randy invited me to come to Vermont to be cared for by them. The invitation was put on hold as our family also dealt with the death of my father and then my mother. But then came the call, “Marilyn, you must come soon.”

I arrived in a spring snowstorm to a welcoming note on the backdoor and found Bill sitting in a hospital bed positioned near the bay window of their dining room reading a recently published book, Freedom Riders. As I teased him about reading about himself, he flashed a sheepish grin and showed me the page he was on, the page with a photo of him protesting.

I enjoyed a marvelous 24-hour visit. Bill and Randy were wonderful hosts, caring and supportive. We spoke openly about mortality and grieving. He told me, “Death is a great equalizer, not because it makes us equal, but because it mocks our pretensions at being anything else.” As I shared with Bill how our family has been supported since January and how grateful we were for each act of kindness, he told me, “Of all the emotions, gratitude is the most significant.”

Bill was quite proud that his final presentation was via a videocast, that brought him from the hospital at Dartmouth to sites throughout Nebraska, where clergy gathered to hear him speak on prophetic preaching — just weeks ago before his death. Bill was a fan of Nebraskans for Peace, often wanting updates and cheering you on.

Bill described himself as “an old man in a hurry.” And while his heart failed him, his sharp mind and his wit did not.

In calling for the abolition if nuclear weapons, he said there is “indeed there is an ‘axis of evil.’ But it is hardly Iran, Iraq and North Korea. A more likely and far more dangerous trio would be environmental degradation, pandemic poverty, and a world awash with weapons.”

His wit? In words uttered at Yale often: “The world is full of too many old Turks and young fogies.” Bill Coffin remained living proof of his fitting claim: “Being old is not necessarily the same thing as being stale.”

Bill Coffin was affectionately known as the “Quotable Coffin.” He could turn a phrase like none other. It is said that the term ‘sound bite’ originated with journalists capturing Bill’s quotes.

On the choice of presidential candidates offered the electorate from time to time, Bill was known to say that it is “not really a choice between the lesser of two evils, but the evil of two lessers.”

On “mediocre clergy,” Bill was blunt, describing them as “the bland leading the bland.”

On a more serious note concerning the nuclear crisis: “When we live at each other’s mercy, we had better learn to be merciful. If we don’t learn to be meek, who is going to inherit the earth?”

And another: “The best patriots are not uncritical lovers of their country, any more than they are loveless critics of it. True patriots carry on a lover’s quarrel with their country.”

On a characteristic he possessed, risk-taking: “Only those who attempt the absurd achieve the impossible.”

As my mentor, he cautioned me against taking on an issue and trying to “light a fire,” but advised me to “shed a light” instead.

Bill said, “If you love good you have to hate evil; otherwise you are sentimental. But if you hate evil more than you love good, you simply become a damn good hater, and of such people the world has enough.” And then he counseled, “We are called to be tender-hearted, but also to be tough-minded.”

William Sloane Coffin Jr.’s life was a paradox; CIA agent — peace activist, born to the manor — servant of the poor, legendary liberal — lifelong friend of George H. W. Bush, prophetically stern—wonderful joke-teller.

As I hugged Bill for the last time, I asked him, “Who will be the next William Sloane Coffin?” He quickly responded, “You.” Before I could retort he added, “ ...and your friends at Nebraskans for Peace, and your prophetic preachers, and those students who are protesting,”

And after citing quite a list, he said, “You see, dear Marilyn, this world doesn’t need another Bill Coffin. This world needs many people who do not see peace as inevitable, but rather as something you fight for, suffer for, demand, as if peace were God’s most cherished hope for humanity, as indeed it is.”